Really? A Diet Coke?

This morning I arrived at my office around 8 AM, maybe a little earlier. I had my hands full with my lunch, a coffee, and a diet coke. I set the diet coke and coffee down on my desk and went to put my lunch in the community refrigerator and after that went down the hall to use the bathroom. Upon my return my diet coke was gone. I thought to myself, "Nobody would steal a diet coke", and proceed to look all around my office as I assumed it must have somehow fallen on the floor. Nope, someone stole it. My reaction was (and is) "Really, a diet coke?"

On the one hand I am happy I took my wallet and car keys with me, so that I didn't lose anything valuable. I would be a wreck if I had lost that stuff and would gladly have 100 sodas stolen if it meant I didn't lose my wallet. On the other hand, if my wallet had been stolen it would have at least been something of value. Did the thief come along and think "Fuck this guy, he doesn't have shit to steal. I am at least going to take his soda." What a d-bag.

It reminds me of the time that a friend of mine had the face stolen off of his cd player. Not only can he not listen to it, but what the fuck are the thieves going to do with a cd player face. It would have made a lot more sense if they had stolen the whole thing.

So here is to you dipshit that stole my diet coke. Hopefully you enjoyed it as much as I would have.