New Slogan for Baltimore

I have always been a very civic-minded individual.

I've been out here in Baltimore for about a month now, and I thought....."Hey, this city has kind of a bum wrap."

And I decided that the best way I could help Baltimore was to come up with a new slogan for the city...here are some early favorites...

Baltimore,

Where you might only get mugged on 1/3 of the streets
Where you'll never be more than two miles from Target, Best Buy, Chipotle or Barnes & Noble
Home of the daytime hooker
Where nobody believes in public transportation
We're still not as cool as DC, but we're trying
Home of the most disappointing professial teams in 2 major sports!
Where you'll never be quite sure if the new bar is straight...
Where homeless people come to feel at home!
Where the speed limit is for pussies!
We cancel school for snow, and delay it for rain!
Whatever your ethnicity, you can feel like a minority!
Where everyone with an ounce of mobility heads to Chik-fil-a for lunch!
Even YOU can be mugged in an alley!


Maybe I'll think of more, but I thought it was a pretty good start.