Rules of the game....Living with Tom

I have had some shitty roommates.

I bitch a LOT about roommates. Not that I'm a peach to live with, but I've only had TWO that I would EVER live with again. Rob Cat, and Jesse.

There are some hot-button issues that I should address with anyone I will consider living with:

Issue #1. Smoking!
My current place stinks. Smoke just smells bad. I will not live in another place where smoking is allowed.

Issue #2. PETS!
Sorry future roommates, CATTARD and Mr. Fucker have ruined pets for me. I won't live with them again.

Issue #3. The Kitchen!
I will NEVER AGAIN allow a litter box in the kitchen. Gross. And you've got to clean your shit up sometimes. My current roomates will leave food on the stove for days, and they haven't opened the dishwasher in approximately 2 months. NOT acceptable. I keep waiting for them to clean their dishes, but I always get grossed out by the shit that starts growing in the sink and wind up un- and reloading the dishwasher.

Issue #4. COMMUNICATION
I do things that piss people off. I ACCEPT this. If we live together, and I piss you off, let me know so we can work it out. Let's TALK. Don't just let my antics build up inside you. And leaving notes on the whiteboard does NOT constitute conversation.

Issue #5 SHARING STUFF.
I'll share shit. I'll borrow roommates shit shamelessly. But there has to be dialogue. If you eat my food while I'm gone, leave a note or let me know. Don't let me find out on my own, or I will be MAD!! I steal my roommates shit all the time, but I generally tell them, when I see them next, "I borrowed Elf, and forgot it at my bro's, I 'll get it back in a couple days, I hope you don't mind." Or something similar.

Those are my current things I'm burning on now. I've got to do some cleaning, I'll try to get a new post up soon. I know 2 people check this delightful blog, occasionally.