The Return Of Zombie Tom

I love dressing up like a zombie. I really do.

I've always loved Halloween, but it's even BETTER as ZombieTom.

ZombieTom is a scary mofo. He has a wicked stare.

I spent the last couple of weeks trying to figure out what to do for Halloween. It was easy the last five years or so....fraternity party or the shouthouse last year. But now I'm in a new part of the country. And nobody in the Baysox front office was doing ANYTHING for Halloween. It was ridiculous. My sister was going out in Baltimore, but I'm not a huge fan of Baltimore.

Two nights ago I went on a date with my friend Dana, and over dinner I was lamenting that no one in the office was doing anything for one of the greatest holidays of the year. She suggested that we go out. I said ok, figuring we would go out in Baltimore.

The next day in the office, we asked a couple of other people if they wanted to go. We only found one taker, my new friend Karen, and she suggested we go to DC. I was up for anything, so we were off to DC.

Except none of us knew where to go. A former Baysox employee joined the Halloween movement, and he e-mailed a couple of ideas, and Karen looked at some things on the intra-web-net, and we narrowed our options down to three neighborhoods. I liked our odds.

Dana had to work at our haunted house until 11, so we were going to get a late start. I was originally planning on going to the gym, working on my zombie clothes, and having Karen and our friend Plunky meet me at my place around 8 or so.

Then I found out that Karen was just going to be killing time until we went out, and she's super hot, so I suggested that we go to happy hour. So we kicked off halloween with a drink at DuClaws, then we went back to the stadium, and then we went back to my place to get ready.

Plunky met us, and we set off to meet a couple of co-workers at Gina's Cantina. Our directions weren't very good. As we were driving down the road, in the general area of Gina's Cantina, we blew past a place that was a cantina. We turned around, went back and walked inside.

There were people in costumes, and a DJ....had to be the right place, right? One of my companions noted that it looked like a private party. And we didn't see our buddies anywhere.

Karen, in complete control of the situation, suggested that we get a shot. I concurred.

She went up to the bar, got the shots, and found out we were actually in the Crofton Cantina. And that it was a wedding reception.

We took our shots, payed our respects to the bride and groom and left.

We found the right place without much more trouble. We had a drink, waited around forever for another drink to materialize (it didn't) and eventually left to meet Dana at the stadium. We got there just before 11, but there were people in line and Dana couldn't leave right away. I did the only logical thing in the world, and started scaring the patrons and biting my friends.

Zombies gotta bite.

So, we finally got Dana and Dana got dressed and we got in the car. We audibled, and went to College Park instead of DC. We tried to pick up a friend of Dana's, but it was a huge pain trying to pick him up. It was now 12:30, I was completely sober, and were sitting in a parking lot for a while. And all the bars we drove by had long lines.

Eventually we found the guy and made it downtown. Where we couldn't find a place to park. Thankfully, there was one space at Kinkos. Which was open, at nearly 1 a.m. on a Friday. That's convenience.

We chose a bar where Karen didn't think she'd run into anyone she was trying to avoid that night (she had told other friends she was staying home). It was PACKED inside. It took forever to get the first drink. Finally, a little after 1 a.m., a kamikaze shot announced that we were home for Halloween. Karen promptly followed that with a car bomb. Then we managed to wedge our ways into the bar, and it was on. Plunky bought us a round of Vodka Cranberries (I don't like Vodka OR Cranberries, worst drink of the night), and I chased it with a round of electric lemonades and Captain Cokes. I had intended the Captain Cokes be a sipper, slow down the pace a little bit.

And then Karen and Plunky slammed theirs. ZombieTom had to keep up.

We had a round of Tom Collins and Karen cut herself off. I bought Plunky a Jack and Coke and had myself a Sunset Wheat (wooooooo Leinies!). As we ordered the last pair of drinks, Dana told us we'd have to leave soon, she was our DD, but she had to work at 9 a.m. It was now just after 2 a.m.

Plunky and I downed our drinks in rapid fashion, and we embarked on the long journey back to the car. Interesting observation: It was far less cold then when we walked TO the bar. Or I was somewhat intoxicated.

Another interesting observation: It was probably pretty comical to see a zombie with his arm around a gangster stumbling around college park at 2 a.m.

Back in the car, Karen passed out almost immediately. The drive back was pretty uneventful, Dana dropped us all off at my house we drank some water, dropped Karen off in the spare bed and I set about the long process of taking my makeup off. Plunky and I were chatting in the bathroom as I scrubbed and scrubbed at my face. As I'm looking in the mirror, Karen makes a beeline behind us, kneels at the toilet, and spits. It was about the weakest puke in the world. I told her so, too. I believe my exact quote was "That's it? That wouldn't even wake up the neighbors....weak!"

Eventually, we all made it to separate beds and passed out.

The final tally: On the night, I had 10 drinks, Karen and Plunky each had 9. The final 7 of which came in just over an hour.

It was a pretty fun Halloween, and this year, no one stabbed my hand, scratched my neck or slapped me in the face!