I'm not a fan of playing the lottery. I never drop down $1 in the hopes of winning $100,000,000. I'd rather buy a double cheeseburger. It has more utility.
Looking back, however, if I was ever going to waste a dollar in the hopes of hitting it big, yesterday would have been the day.
It started off a little rough. My throat hurt, I was coughing like a mofo, I had stayed up too late with my brothers and drank too many beers. I awoke to my nephew's screams of glee. It was rough. If I hadn't known that DooHow had blown off other plans to go the tourney in St. Cloud with me, I would have bailed.
DooHow didn't bail, so neither could I.
I met him at Target in Lino Lakes. I met him as he was coming out of the bathroom. I had to grab some cash for my entry fee, so we went to the atm. When we passed by the bathroom again, DooHow went in, saying he had a story about the bathroom to tell me when he got out.
I thought, "Oh no. DooHow has the runs, not only am I hung over, sick and hungry, but I'm going to have to stop at every gas station between here and St. Cloud for DooHow to drop a deuce."
He reappeared moments later, and as we were walking toward my car he told me, "As I was walking in there earlier I heard someone taking the loudest grossest poop....and I thought 'no way, I'll hold it.'"
It was each of our first victories. DooHow defeated the runs, I defeated impatience.
We got to the tournament, and I bought a couple of boosters beforehand. As I opened them, I pulled some dude and Pat told me "THAT'S a guy you want to pull for the tournament, he's awesome."
When we payed for the tournament, we were given two boosters, and I pulled the dude again. I won again. 2-0, I lead life.
DooHow had only come to watch the tournament, but some dude had pre-paid, so the guy running the tournament let DooHow play with his pieces. We had played a combined 4 games in our life.
We both won our first round matches. Then our second. If we each won our third round matches, we would win a bye in a big upcoming tournament, and all the dorks seemed to want the bye.
I just wanted to win.
We both won our third games. Technically, we BOTH won the day's tournament. I'd just like to point out that Patrick did not fare as well in the tournament, therefore I am a much better clicker than him, and he should spend the rest of his nights dreaming of how awesome I am.
Now that I've decreased the readership by one, I feel that I can continue....
After coming back to the cities, DooHow and I parted, and I went to Tom's House in Lino to play some volleyball.
Before the volleyball game started, we decided to toss some beanbags in the backyard. I've always enjoyed tossing sacks around, but I've never been particularly good at it. Until yesterday. I started hot, and NEVER cooled. I won a warm-up game, no big deal. Then I joined a big-time game. Matt and Dougie are bean-bagging MACHINES. After a long, hard fought match, Matt and I prevail, 21-something. The other team demands a rematch. We give it. We then proceeded to DESTROY them 21-0, in an unthinkable 4 rounds. It was, perhaps, the greatest thrashing in beanbag tossing history.
After beanbags and brats, it was finally time to get Volly with it. I am a marginal player at best. Good range, lots of energy, more volume than anything. I always line up with a loud buddy of mine that lives in Tom's house. We have NEVER won more than one game in a night before. We won the first three last night. And four out of five overall. I played out of my freaking mind. I was everywhere. Almost every ball found it's way over the net.
I was unstoppable.
Normally, I consider myself the best of the mid-rangers, or the very worst of the elite in everything.
Yesterday, thought, I was an unstoppable force.
I have to say, it felt nice to be the juggernaut bitch.
Final tally:
Tom and AJ defeated AJ's runs. Each 1-0
Tom has sweet pulls, AJ plays the tournament for free. Each 2-0
Tom and AJ win tournament, Pat does not. Tom and AJ 3-0, Pat 0-1.
Tom dominates beanbags Tom 4-0.
Tom TOMinates volleyball. Tom 5-0, AJ 3-0, Pat 0-1.
Tom wins, and is the champion of everything ever. I rule, you drool, hope there's corn in your stool.
