The Scam(s)
The scam requires a bit of backstory:
On May 5, Cinco de Mayo, a couple of my friends threw a Halloweeno De Mayo Warehouse party. Dede, a girl I knew, who is friends with a bunch of my friends, came. She brought her roommate.
At some point in the night, I became enthralled with the roommate, and somehow came away with her number.
That was on Saturday.
I called her on Monday, and got her voicemail. I said we should hang out some time, blah blah blah, call me. No reply, whatsoever.
Either Tuesday or Wednesday, I found out Dede's birthday was the ensuing Saturday, and my friend Kris was invited. The rommate was SURE to be there.
With this information in hand, I called the roommate again on Thursday, asking if she wanted to do something on Saturday (the birthday) after I finished playing soccer in the afternoon. It was a setup, because I knew what her plans were...if she didn't respond, or if she said she was busy, it would be pretty clear that the pursuit was pointless.
Friday, she sends me a text saying it was Dede's birthday and I should come to the bars in Uptown.
That was the official beginning of the adventure. There was going to be a girl that Kris had a backstory with at the party, so we went with a third friend of ours, Mattie, who was just along for the ride.
We met them at a bar in Uptown. It was packed, drinks were ridiculously priced, and the music was both loud and REALLY shitty. But it was pretty fun. I talked to Dede a lot, the roommate was gorgeous, and Kris seemed to be golden with the girl with the backstory.
Prior to going out, I had told Kris and Mattie that I would drive, and we would be leaving promptly at midnight (it was the day before Mother's Day, and I wanted to hit the range with DooHow before going back to Mora).
So, shortly after midnight, we said our goodbyes and the three of us started walking back to my car.
Here's the prob: Kris wanted to stay. It looked like he was golden with his girl. Mattie and I were torn. We both wanted to go. But we wanted Kris to make it happen. So we came up with "The Scam."
Mattie and I each gave Kris $20 for cab fare home (worst case scenario). Then we sent him back to the bar, and had him tell the girls he went to the bathroom, came out, and we were gone.
It seemed like a solid plan. We even had him call us and leave the phone on for the walk back to kill his battery.
Mattie and I were in my car, leaving Uptown, when the roommate called.
I didn't know what to do. It was the first time she had called me. I HAD to answer.
"We have your friend here."
The plan was in trouble. I had to do something, FAST.
"WHAT?"
"We have your friend here."
"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING YOU'RE SAYING!"
Then she put Kris on the phone. For a couple of minutes, I was confused as hell. He was just yelling at me, I couldn't tell if he was serious or joking. Then he said something about the bathroom, and I realized it was all part of the ruse.
I dropped Mattie off at his place, went home and after talking to Jim about "The Scam" I went to bed. I was asleep around 1.
At 2:30 my phone rang, and I answered more out of reaction than realization that the phone was ringing. It was Kris.
"That was a HORRIBLE idea. You guys never should have let me do that......and it made you seem like a total ASSHOLE."
Great.
So, overall, the night was not overly productive. I didn't gain any ground with the roommate, Kris's golden ticket fell through, and some dude in fucked up pants rubbed his ass on me as I was standing talking to the group.
posted by "The" Tom @ 12:36 AM
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